Everyone feels they are running out of you
There isn’t enough in a day, they say
You are moving too fast
We act as if we are not making a choice on how to spend you
But we do, every day
you are a form of currency, an exchange of energy
We tell each other that life is short
which is why I am embarrassed to admit
that I might have too much of you all to myself
We are supposed to be occupied
always spending you productively, methodically, deliberately
"Don’t dilly dally"
"That is a waste of time"
Some days I watch your numbers change and wait for night to come
So that I can get a break from tracking you
But I know that one day I will miss these long days we spend together
because you make me think …
I think and think and think some more
about how to spend you – productively
in a way that matters
Sometimes that obsession takes away from the joy of having you
For you are such a gift to us all
Yet we abuse you and use you
Rushing and hurrying about
It was easier when I lived that way
Do you remember?
Me reaching for my phone or a cigarette or anything to distract me
when I felt your presence creeping in
Uneasy about you being around
I would then move at a faster pace
Racing you to the punch
I don't know what is at the end of the race
so now I walk leisurely by your side
We work in tandem
You allow me to reach the corners of my mind I was hiding from
I would do anything to not enter those rooms
Doors locked tight
You gently open them
slowly showing me the diamonds that live there