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Everyone feels they are running out of you

There isn’t enough in a day, they say

You are moving too fast

We act as if we are not making a choice on how to spend you

But we do, every day

you are a form of currency, an exchange of energy

We tell each other that life is short

which is why I am embarrassed to admit

that I might have too much of you all to myself

We are supposed to be occupied

always spending you productively, methodically, deliberately

"Don’t dilly dally"

"That is a waste of time"

Some days I watch your numbers change and wait for night to come

So that I can get a break from tracking you

But I know that one day I will miss these long days we spend together

because you make me think …

I think and think and think some more

about how to spend you – productively

in a way that matters

Sometimes that obsession takes away from the joy of having you

For you are such a gift to us all

Yet we abuse you and use you

Rushing and hurrying about

It was easier when I lived that way

Do you remember?

Me reaching for my phone or a cigarette or anything to distract me

when I felt your presence creeping in

Uneasy about you being around

I would then move at a faster pace

Racing you to the punch

I don't know what is at the end of the race

so now I walk leisurely by your side

We work in tandem

You allow me to reach the corners of my mind I was hiding from

I would do anything to not enter those rooms

Doors locked tight

You gently open them

slowly showing me the diamonds that live there


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