Aug 11, 20206 min read

33

I turn 33 today :)

33 is a cool milestone because three is my favorite number and it is also a very sacred number in various facets. In math it is a prime number and triangular. In spirituality, it is associated with the Trinity - symbolizing protection, guidance, and help. Earth is the third planet from the sun. Three is a popular number in folklore, fairytales, and fables: 3 Little Pigs, 3 wishes, Goldilocks and the 3 Bears, etc. Many believe that Jesus was 33 when he was crucified so it is also a number that represents rebirth and resurrection.

All of that said, I was trying to think of some insightful message or lesson to put out into the world today, to commemorate my 33rd year. I have learned a lot in my life and I wouldn't even know where to start or how to sum it up into a blog post. It felt like I was forcing something that hadn't materialized yet and that I would not yet be able to effectively articulate.

I do want to write something so I made a simple list of 33 things I am grateful for today. These are all miracles in and of themselves - some small and some big.

Today, I am grateful for ... (in no particular order) ...

--- there are a few photos at the end

My family (duh) - Really though, I understand what the big deal is now when people say family is everything. They are.
My dog Harley and the time we shared, I still think about him all the time and look at his pictures - he had a great life (he passed away about a year ago)
Open-mindedness and risk-taking - I learned a lot about this when moving to an island and I am about to have another lesson that puts it to the test when I go back to school in a couple of weeks :)
Nature and beauty - Having those moments where everything around you seems like a miracle - sunsets at the beach, a simple plant, a stream, a butterfly
Steady work - The flexibility to have a work/life balance and a malleable schedule
Friends - High quality friends, old and new who I have met in places far and wide, all who have taught me exactly what I needed at the time and who have been main characters in my journey and I in theirs
Health - My health and the knowledge I hold around fitness/nutrition in order to maintain and take care of my body and mind
Yoga yoga yoga - My therapist recommended it to me about five years ago and it has been a keystone in my progress and healing
Sobriety - Gone are the days that I wake up hungover and wondering what happened the night before, who I called, what I did, where I went - besides the tangible changes, there are endless gifts that come with living sober
Music - Music keeps me going and sometimes a good song lyric is the only thing that seems to understand exactly what I am going through in that moment
A nice place to live - A warm shower, a comfortable bed, my own private space
Restraint of pen and tongue - Of course this is something I am always working on and improving, but it is nice to witness those instances where I am actually able to pause and think about how/what I want to say
My team: therapist, psychiatrist, nurses, hospital staff, counselors - Everyone who has helped me along the way in navigating mental health, identifying my tendencies and patterns, and developing ways of coping and pushing through
My grandma - We lost her this past year and I really miss her, I am grateful for what she taught me (through showing me), and I hope to emulate her essence, strength, and resilience as a woman
Humor - Gosh, could I even live without that? It is so imperative to my every day
St. Croix - I learned a lot over there the past three years (another special #3) and that magical island will always be a part of me and I will always be a part of it - Stay tuned because I have way more to say about this :)
Good books - It is so nice to be able to lay down and read a good book and get lost in your own little world
My boyfriend - I was hoping and praying for a partner at the right time when I was ready, doing what I could to manifest him, and then I meet this dude in an airport of all places
Vulnerability - Being able to share with people what I am going through, every day trying a little bit more to free myself from the chains of perfectionism
My car - The freedom to go wherever I want whenever I want in a safe and comfortable vehicle, that's a big deal
Experience and skills - I feel like I have already made it through a lot of the hard stuff and accomplished a lot in my life when it comes to emotional journeys and battling my demons, and now I just hope to find a way to share the fruits of my labor with the world so that my story can help others
Fresh delicious food - My new obsession is Daily Harvest meal delivery - If you are interested, enter this referral code at checkout for $25 off - RE-MMRH64K - let me know if you have any questions about the process (I am clearly a huge fan)
Body image progress - Of course this is something we are all working on - self acceptance, loving our selves and our bodies, and I am happy to report I am in a really good place with it right now - I am actually able to be in a bathing suit in public no matter what I think I look like or what I ate that day or the night before or whatever - it is about having fun where I am, and it is quite liberating
Flexibility and Uncertainty - Learning to be okay with adjusting to this new way of life - both in times of COVID-19 and the inherent difficulties that come with shifting back to life in the States
Running - I have fallen back in love with Running (we go through periods of hate/love) - It's not necessarily that I love huffing and puffing and feeling like I am going to die, but the other parts of life feel easier when I am doing it regularly - it is a weird kind of fulfillment and it does not feel punitive anymore but rather nourishing
Minimalism - It probably sounds counterintuitive to be grateful for LACK of things, but the way I approach life now and have simplified and given up so many material things actually gives me so much more energy to focus on things that really matter
Aging - My thirties have been amazing so far and I have come to welcome the aging process - moving and flowing with it instead of fighting upstream, Every year I learn a little more about the world and little more about myself, and how both of those entities mesh
Writing - Another major battle, probably because of that nasty perfectionism always digging its claws into me - I have hired a content editor to look over a few chapters of a project on which I am working, and this is a huge step for me
Education - The ability to read and write and integrate, I am always in a state of research and wanting to learn more
Daily Inspirations - There are things I like to do every day that anchor me and one of them is reading the daily meditation from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie (It is written for Codependency but applies to everyone no matter where you are in your life or what you are dealing with)
Morning Pages - The practice of writing a few pages every morning is a kind of brain dumb - putting on paper whatever is on your mind, Some days I use my morning pages to dissect the meaning of life, and on others it is just a place to hold my grocery list
Everyone Reading This - Thank you thank you thank you, I feel that I am moving at the speed of a tortoise in trying to get my thoughts and ideas out into the Universe so I appreciate your patience and loyalty - Every time I write a few words and publish them, it makes it easier to do it the next time