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why does it always feel like i am driving in the dark without headlights

my rearview mirror only shows me the good times, the things that lit us up

our passion and your glowing halo

the depths of despair are hidden, they only happened behind closed doors

all i see is the spot light shining on our fairy tale

bonfire nights when we shared a blanket

your fireworks crashing into the sky in the summer night

the roller coaster highs

your eyes like a beacon

lightning storms that we watched from your driveway

glistening snowflakes

the shiny and bright times,

front yards sprinkled with Christmas sparkles,

(this year it feels more like eXmas)

waiting for my phone to light up next to my bed on nights we were apart

the Caribbean glistening

in the rearview i don’t see my tears in the dark on the shower floor

i can’t hear the yelling and screaming

the lies are nowhere to be found, invisible remnants

only the songs we danced to in candlelight that are playing on my radio

sunsets over palm trees and our steel pan dreams

i see the same stars and moon we gazed at while we were lying on the pier

trying to tell planets apart from planes and anticipating our first kiss

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