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I left without so much as a goodbye. As if I had never existed.

I didn’t know what to say. I figured you had quickly forgotten about me anyway.

How do I explain why? “It wasn’t you, it was me.” Psh.

I heard about the rumors, my demise, how one day I was just gone with the wind. A magician disappearing into thin air. My belongings apocalyptically left behind knowing they were the old toys no one would ever play with again.

My ghost floats through your hallways. A reverse haunting.

Did you see it coming? My leaving?

Perhaps my eyes painted a watercolor apparition.

To flip a switch and be gone… without so much as a glimpse in the rearview mirror. It is a bad habit of mine.

I didn’t mean for it to happen this way. It wasn’t part of the plan.

I edge on psychopathic turf.

Psychopath or survivalist? I turn off the emotional and go onward but only to protect the limits of my human brain and wild heart.

I live in a different Universe now, far away from you. I don’t know how to interact with my past life nor the characters in it. I don’t remember my lines anymore.

Logic tells me the same stage still exists, in the same spot, with the same players, that the show never stopped just because I bolted mid-act.

It is a black void that itches my soul when I get too close. It is best if I remember you as a mirage, that my reckoning and running toward you would be futile.

But as I part once again, I want you to know that the grief of losing you remains an open wound on my insides, and that there will always be a special place for you inside of my hollow heart. At night, your memory enflames my nightmares.

And during my days the only way I cope is to live as if you never existed.

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